The Idiot Blog

Guildford Borough Council Spends £285000 on a new website!

2009-11-02T11:13:00.002Z

Leaked document shows that Guildford Borough Council have just spent £285000 on their new website design. Do you think that is justified?8< - - - 8< - - - 8< - - - 8< - - - 8< - - - 8< - - - Entry Date: 02/11/2009Reference: Not providedType of document: Contract awardCountry:United KingdomOJEU Ref::(09/S 211-303074/EN)Nature of contract::Service contractProcedure::Contract awardsRegulation of

Guildford Borough Council Rubbish Wheelie Bin Fiasco

2009-10-20T10:43:00.004Z

This is a fairly "off topic" post for this blog. Usually this blog contain funny articles about the antics of imbeciles, we now turn to something a little more domestic and simply annoying. Guildford Borough Council have followed a lot of penny-pinching councils in the UK and switched from a 1 week to a two week (bi-weekly) collection of rubbish. This in itself is an outrageous draconian

Some Useful Condescending Phrases

2008-01-15T22:13:00.000Z

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.What am

How to piss people off

2008-01-15T21:58:00.000Z

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

2008-01-15T21:53:00.000Z

The following are actual stories provided by US travel agents:I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to

Stupid things said in court

2008-01-15T21:50:00.000Z

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?" Witness: "I only have one, you know."--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?" Witness: "By death." Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Accused,

Best Rejection Letter

2008-01-15T21:48:00.000Z

Herbert A. MillingtonChair - Search Committee412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson UniversityCollege Hill, MA 34109Dear Professor Millington,Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, Iregret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer mean assistant professor position in your department.This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusuallylarge

Is Bush an Idiot

2007-02-25T19:50:00.001Z

Erm.... you decide :) He is on this blog after all.

Just a few Bush Bloopers (Bushisms)

2006-11-09T15:41:00.000Z

Just a few Bush Bloopers (Bushisms)This was cut from 6 hours to just 1 minute. It is widely accepted that it gets frightening after watching him for 1 minute - the realisation that he is in a position of power is too frightening to be funny any more.

2006-11-09T15:39:00.000Z

4 Youtube(tm) IdiotsA compilation of 4 YouTube Idiots. Funny.

Firework Rocket Shot up Bottom Stunt Goes Wrong

2006-11-09T15:12:00.000Z

Backside firework prank backfires A man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night. Paramedics found the 22-year-old, bleeding and with the firework lodged inside him, after receiving reports